so don't get any big ideas, they're not gonna happen

it was an inside day from the start. i never should have left my house, to buy sugar, to get coffee, to eat dinner, to hang out, to buy face wash, to look for things that weren't there.

i put all of my cd's in a leather folder. discarding the jewel boxes for better lives. i filled the entire thing and when i went to get more sleeves the store didn't carry them.

i need to clean my room. i want to purge myself of all human attachments.

today as i drove to dinner i saw a man in a hospital gown walking down the street with his pants , that has obviously been cut off by ems, still hanging from his waste. i cursed the hospital that wouldn't give this man another pair of pants, cursed the skies for raining down on this guy and cursed myself for not having a pair of pants in my car to give away.

it's like, with all of this shit around us. with every choice making you feel like it was the wrong one. when you try to put on a brave jovial face when all you want is some fucking comfort. why the fuck would you ever leave your house if you didn't have to.